Tyrrhenian Sea, Sicily - (Rotters): This morning's eruption of the Stromboli volcano has been described by Protein-Defying Ageing Pancake salesman Reverend Pat Robertson as a sign of God's displeasure at fraud claims surrounding a mouldy, bacteria-infested fake 4th century sarcophagus touted by Titanic director James Cameron as Jesus's tomb.
The spewing lava and smoky rumblings of the Sicilian caldera have resulted in a tsunami alert as Aeolian Islands' civil defence authorities warn the already superstitious inhabitants against any more foolish ritual animal sacrifices to appease the forces of darkness.
But Robertson remains defiant. At his Virginia Beach HQ today he decried heinous lampoonery of the Cameron documentary that forges a link between a highly dubious piece of eBay-rejected archaeological tat and the alleged bones of Jesus's son Judas.
This has led some sources to speculate about just how much money Robertson personally sank into bankrolling the Cameron fantasy that says the coffin is the world's greatest ever religious relic and worth hundreds of billions of dollars.
Last year persistent reports said that Robertson had already lost over $10 million in prospecting with Texas-based Zion Oil's claims to the world's single largest oil filed located just off the West Bank of the Jordan.
And in 1980 he lost his first $1 million after bankrolling the Hitler Diaries published in the UK by The Times and subsequently unveiled as the work of a ten year old satirist genius.
Could the Stromboli eruption be the Creator's own red card for Robertson?
James Cameron in 66.