Rio de Janeiro - (Ass Mess): A growing mood of anger, disgust and bafflement has been detected in Brazil this week following a poll among the country's nationals who were asked how they felt about being named after an extreme form of pubic waxing.
The Slut Magazine survey asked if being descendants of hybrid chimps who had learned to depilate over 30,000 years ago was derogatory to the country's 180 million inhabitants.
And whether having the word Brazilian on passports was giving away rather too much information than strictly necessary.
The beauticians' procedure is said to be one of Guantanamo Bay's more successful methods of extracting information from foreign insurgents especially if carried out with tweezers, follicle by follicle, rather than en masse with a gloop of steaming hot earwax harvested from audiences of heavy metal gigs like Deep Purple.
Technique variations such as dripping a lighted candle over the taregted area have been viewed as notorious for causing forest fires and burning bush syndrome, the earliest recorded incident of which appears in the Old Testament when Moses had to ask God for some tablets as a result of his adventures in the nether regions.
Many now question if the Biblical Mount Sinai was located in Brazil's Corcovado mountain in the Tijuca Forest National Park after decoding the subtext for Moses's exploits.
The ancient Brazilians were proud if somewhat hairless, attributing their lifelust to indigenous conditions which, had they patented as a national legacy, would have left them all sitting on a fortune today.