Beijing- All is not well within world's first neocapitalist communist rice superpower. China's much criticised and ill conceived one child policy is finally bearing fruit and to the frustration of government officials; that fruit bears mostly male genitalia.
As one walks the bicycle clogged streets of the future olympic venue; you begin to slowly realise there is a distinct lack of young females around and that the heavily polluted streets of Beijing reek also of the tangy smell of Chinese testosterone.
The near complete absence of marriageable females, due mainly to parents aborting the less desirable female children, has led to Beijing becoming an almost exclusively male city; which of course has brought with it all the problems one would expect to find in a city of 16 billion horny young men with no sexual outlet.
City officials are now so worried by the casual violence and mass one thousand a side games of football in the capital's narrow streets that they have desperately appealed to the government to find a solution to this very grave problem.
In a recent televised debate between the mayor of Beijing and officials from the government's department of internal sexual affairs for the glorious fulfilment of the steadfast Chinese people; the harrassed officials sternly promised a speedy resolution to the city's problems and stated that the government was looking into the possibility of invading neighbouring India, as it's well known they have a surplus of eligible females wandering round their vagina laden streets.
Only time will tell if this desperate plan will work, but in the meantime Chinese officials are telling future olympic tourists to not expect sexual gratifaction on the streets of Beijing during the games and are asking tourists to be sensible and that wherever possible they should endeavour to bring their own vagina with them.