Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Britney Spears

Wednesday, 21 February 2007

image for Britney Spears In "Horatio Hairdo" Slaphead Revelations

A doctor has revealed that Bratney Spears' current state of baldness is not as a result of having shaved her head.

Reports had been rife that the ex-pop star had taken up the razor and adopted the headlook of a shaven raven, as well as that of an empty-headed bimbo.

Doctor Mabuse, of the Jesus Christ! Hair Loss Clinic, where Bratney is in hiding, said this was not true.

"She is bald, but not by choice", he told journalists last night, adding, "She has alopecia. She's very, very upset. You see, there's no bar at the clinic."

A friend of Miss Spears, Glenda Slagg, told how Bratney first realised she had become a slaphead.

"Apparently, one of her bratlets had a birthday party. She always drinks way too much. When she woke up in the morning, there were these two guys on one side of her, and an enormous pile of hair on the other, all falled out. I heard someone stole it and sold it on e-Bay!"

Alopecia is a cruel condition that is little-understood. A sufferer can end up looking like a mangey fox, which, incidentally, is exactly what Bratney is.

Detective Horatio Cain of the Miami CSI said "We found a single strand of hair on the floor at the scene. We're investigating a claim that her 'mop' was removed because it was full of 'guy zuffle' but, as yet, this claim remains unsubstantiated. We'll know more when we get the results from the lab."

It's thought that the former pop princess gives "very good" Horatio.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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