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Tuesday, 20 February 2007

image for Hitler's Ladyboys!
The former German leader, Mr Adolf Hitler.

Berlin - When the old eastern bloc finally crumbled in upon it's own decaying Stalinist foundations; it wasn't only hordes of badly dressed east Germans that flocked into the gaudy neon strasses of west Berlin; following closely behind the mulleted flood was the immense secret archives of the GDR.

It's a well known fact in the west that the east German security apparatus was a ruthlessly efficient monitor of everyday life and that even the most trivial phone call was recorded and classified for use against anyone with a dissenting view or a new pair of Levis. In fact: the Stasi operated in pretty much the same way as the American intelligence agencies operate today.

But a fact that is less well known to the ordinary Hans on the strasse is that after the end of world war two, when the Allied powers split their old enemy into easily digestible slices, the vast secret records of the defeated Gestapo fell silently into the hands of their Communist conquerors and there they laid quietly undisturbed for the next sixty two years gathering dust in the huge grey staatsarchiv building just off the busy Potsdammer Strasse.

It is only recently that historians have managed to trawl through the countless documents and recordings and what has come to light recently sheds new light on the dark years of Germany's National Socialist past.

One of the most astounding stories to be liberated from the dank cellars of the Staatsarchiv, concerns the amazing story of operation "Girly boy"; a secret Nazi plan intended to be the dastardly overture to the invasion of Britain.

The plan was conceived some time in early 1939 by the now infamous Treblinka camp doctor, Dr Ernst Shitclitz, the plan called for the creation of squads of devastatingly attractive transexuals to be trained in the cunning art of shemale seduction and then dropped by parachute along the heavily defended coast of southern England.

The stated aim of operation "Girly boy" was to foster sexual confusion and spread moral decadence amongst British forces protecting the nations soft southern underbelly.

Hitler personally approved the Shitclitz plan and asked to kept fully informed of all future developments concerning the operation.

The cunning scheme, however, was never to come to full fruition as the Battle of Britain ended Hitler's plan for a full scale invasion of the British mainland.

We can only now look back on Dr Shitclitz's devilish scheme with a sense of morbid curiosity and relieved gratitude that the horrific plan never materialized and vaguely wonder what other long forgotten plans lay quietly brooding within the old Staatsarchiv.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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