Vatican City (ReUterus): An inter-ecumenical commission has urged child molestors of all persuasions and perversions to unite under the Pope while the going is still good as George Bush and Tony Blair continue to stonewall their way through public office saying nothing about the scandal to which they have dedicated their lives.
Under the banner of Suffer Little Children to Come To Me the Pope is urging a 2p in the £ tax hike to continue funding of the UK's Official Disgusting Secrets Act which has moulded him into a kindly old teutonic gentleman of wholesome religious agendas.
But last weekend his Opus Dei plant in a North London diocese was spotted in a kiddies' playground loo unable to contain his excitement as the lavatory attendant slipped out a minute leaving the minors alone with the hoary old pastor.
Fortunately a reporter from a satirical site was on hand complete with a video camera, camcorder, video phone and polaroid to witness events for a Lenten Special.
Those precious moments are now with the Vice Squad.