Written by aningeniousname
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Sunday, 18 February 2007

image for Hugo Chavez Ate My Baby!
The last known photograph of baby Juan Martinez.

Caracas - Anna Martinez a young Venezuelan woman, has sensationally claimed that dangerous social reformer and critic of US foreign policy, President Hugo Chavez is a secret connoisseur of lightly poached baby.

Ms Martinez, who is now under the protection of the American backed coalition for the reinstatement of the oligarchy, has stepped from obscurity into the worlds headline's with her amazing insight into the hitherto unseen private life of President Hugo Chavez.

Ms Martinez, 22, has been quoted in CIA Today (the CIA's in house magazine) as saying, "At first I was happy when Senor Chavez became President, he seemed like a nice man, but then the craziness started, free education, free healthcare, literacy programs, nationalization, land reform, and worst of all a new constitution guaranteeing all Venezuelan's equal rights under the law," but this it seems was just the tip of a very sordid iceberg.

Ms Martinez then goes on to make her most shocking claims about Chavez's obvious depravity by recounting the day they took her baby for the Presidents table, she says "One day I was just sitting at home alone feeding my baby when there was a knock at the door, I opened it to find two gringos standing there, they spoke very poor Spanish, but told me by means of pointing and gestures that they were from Mr Chavez's office and they had come to take my baby for the President's mid-afternoon snack. What could I do?! The president is a very powerful man, so I let them take my little Juan away with them."

Ms Martinez is now believed to being held for her own safety in a secure location somewhere in the vicinity of the small and insignificant town of Langley, Virginia.

The US State department is believed to have raised the issue of Ms Martinez and her missing, presumed eaten baby with the evil Venezuelan tyrant's office, and as yet have received no reply.

The absence of a reaction from President Chavez has prompted most reasonable fair minded people to come to the only conclusion possible, that Ms Martinez's frightening claims are indeed true.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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