Written by Chuck Terzella
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Monday, 29 December 2003

Ahmed Bull Durham, spokesman for the International Union of Terrorist Thugs, Losers, and Dead Enders has revealed that his organization has applied to the Bush Administration for a portion of the eighty seven billion dollars the United States has bid as their purchase price for the country of Iraq.

In a written statement Mr. Bull Durham said, " With the capture of our Beloved Screwball Saddam Hussein a significant portion of our resistance funding has dried up. If America wants to justify remaining in Iraq, they must have an enemy to fight and without hard cash we Thugs, Losers Blah, Blah. Blah cannot keep up our end of the war. Therefore, we feel it is in the United States best interest to give us oh, say, fifty million dollars to keep the insurgency rolling along. In exchange, we won't hit any oil pipelines for the next six months to give our Administration friends a chance to recoup the expenditure."

Paul Bremmer United States Pro Consul for Iraq has expressed interest in the proposal.
"The Unions offer makes some sense for the Coalition. I mean after all, it would help us both, providing that the I.U.T.T.L.a.D.E'rs allow us to up their kill rate in order to show progress at home. That's key, more dead bodies. Good for TV, good for the Administration. Plus, they can't try to kill me anymore, that's very key. Very, very key."

British Prime Minister Tony Blair, when told of the Unions offer and Bremmer's reply, said, " Jesus Christ, I risked my political career for this? Oh, is this microphone on? What I mean to say is anything that my little buddy George Bush tells me to do I'm in total agreement with. After all, President Bush is totally unpredictable and it's best to keep on his good side. I mean, you never know, he could drop one on 10 Downing Street if we're not careful."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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