The Queen revealed her sensitive side when she was informed that her favourite corgi, Gripper, had been bitten by Michael Jackson.
The tears streamed down her regal cheeks as she related her sorry tale;
‘Phil the Greek and I were watching the news and felt sorry for Jacko because of his recent troubles.'
‘So we decided to invite him to our Palace to spend Christmas with our Royal - dysfunctional family'.
‘When Jacko knocked on the door, the corgis flew downstairs to welcome him.'
‘But Mr Jackson took an instant dislike to the lead-corgi ,Gripper, and in an uncontrolled rage, bit a lump out of his little, furry,bum.'
‘Gripper received immediate attention from the Royal Vet, but it is believed that the dog had too much contamination from Jack's saliva..'
‘We are hoping that Gripper will survive the ordeal, but realise that his injuries are so severe that he may have to be put down,' Her Royal Highness stated.
The Queen's spokesperson added that Jacko's behaviour could only be described as 'Bad'.