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Tuesday, 13 February 2007

image for Shilpa In Police Reunion Sensation - I'm Walking On The Moon Says Bollywood Star
Sting Copeland and Summers minus Shilpa at the press conference

Sensational showbiz news as reports reach us that legendary rockers, The Police, are to reform with Bollywood sensation Shilpa Shetty fronting the band.

Lead singer and keyboard player, Sting, told us.

"All the guys in the band really dig the Shilpa CD that's been cobbled together following her Celebrity Big Brother win. We all phoned one another and decided to re-form the band and agreed; who better to front the project than Shilpa?"

And Drummer Stewart Copeland remarked:

"Shilpa's where it's at right now man. We are humbled to have her aboard the project and can't wait to get out there and collect the loot...I mean play to our fans"

A delighted Shilpa gushed:

"This is the icing on the cake for me. I always loved the Clash and now all I have to do is learn how to sing and I'll be part of the band. Fantastic!" She then treated the press pack to an impromptu version of 'London Calling'. It was dire.

But last word must go to diminutive guitarist Andy Summers who told us:

"This is great news as I was beginning to get down to my last few millions and let's face it; you can never have enough can you?"

Tickets for the UK leg of the tour go on sale tomorrow with an expected price tag of £650. Designer T-shirts will also be available, a snip at £1500.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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