In a stunning move, today Microsoft chair Bill Gates purchased the isle of Tonga giving him control of 51% of the earth's surface.He immediately moved the capitol of the U.S to Redmond Washington, dissolved congress and had President George Bush put in chains.
Crucial to his plan was the support of the U.S military a spokesman for whom said "He couldn't do any worse than the joker we had in office and we cant wait for 2008 when Hillary takes over"
Moving quickly, he declared himself Global Emperor Gates I, sacked the U.N and branded Steve jobs an enemy of the state.
In a hastily called press conference President Vldimir Putin of Russia said "Mother Russia will never submit to the tyrannical rule of the the father of all nerds!" he was vaporized mid sentence by the orbiting Microsoft Deathray Disintegrator no further objection was put forth by any world leader.
Emporer gates then changed the name of the United States to the Personal States of Gates and gave it to his Wife Melinda as a valintines day gift.
He then declared war on France. They immediately surrendered.