London - (Rioters): Predators such as George Bush, Tony Blair and Pope Ratzinger could be in for a nasty Second Coming shock this Valentine's Day as a huge comet originating in the costellation of Aquilla the Eagle heralds the Return of the King, according to astrologers decoding the British Museum's ancient star maps found in Egypt's Valley of the Kings.
"Comet Nemesis hails from the giant bright star Altair and has been predicted to usher in the Day of Judgement according to the Cheops Codex.
"We forsee the total collapse of the Bush Family Evil Empire as the comet transits natal Repulican fault lines that have held together for centuries with glue made from boiled cloven hooves, Bush family semen and rattlesnake venom."
But the Poodle Administration in No 10 Drowning Street is totally blase about any collapse of its power structure on the 14 February and has even hinted that the head of the Metropolitcan Police's cash-for-honors probe may have been offered a life peerage to clear up the whole messy business pretty damned quick.
Internet spread betting index Aintgottaprayer.com is offering odds of 5/4FAV on Blair being led kicking, screaming and manacled out of office on Wedenesday morning after Prince Philip, Charles the Pretender to the Throne and all the other Bush implants are shot at dawn for treason.