Written by NickFun
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Sunday, 11 February 2007

image for Anna Nicole Smith's Corpse to be in New Ad Campaign.
Paris Hilton (above) may be the next Eddie Bauer Model

Recently deceased model Anna Nicole Smith will be the featured model in Guess Jeans new ad campaign "Smart Corpses Wear Guess Jeans" according to Paul Marciano, Co-Chairman, and Co-General Manager of Guess.

"We simply want to stylize corpses", Marciano explained at a news conference. "I don't know how many wakes I've been to where the body is dressed in something drab and uninteresting. We want to show the world that they should be buried comfortably and stylishly."

Marciano has been accused of shamelessly exploiting Smith's death for ruthless profit and greed. Marciano strongly disputes those assertion. "Anna Nicole was under contract to us at the time of her unfortunate demise. There is nothing in her contract that says she can get out of her contract simply by dying".

Marciano says Smith's death has opened up a new lines of advertising for Guess. Marciano also plans to have Smith's corpse laid out on an autopsy table with the caption below reading "People are dying to wear Guess Jeans".

Not to be outdone, Eddie Bauer Inc. plans to come out with their own line of clothing for the dead.

"We are just waiting for the right celebrity to die", says Eddie Bauer interim CEO Howard Gross. "It would be wonderful if we could sign Britney Spears or Paris Hilton's corpse".

Gross said he is under contract negotiations with both celebrities.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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