Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 10 February 2007

image for Muslim Outrage Reaches Its Outrageous Peak
Totally outrageous

Muslim leaders have spoken out to say that, contrary to popular belief, Muslims are indeed outraged by the strange actions, words and sentiments of anyone who is not of their ilk.

Newspaper reports had suggested that most Mussies felt they were regarded by normal people as friendly, kind, thoughtful, balanced individuals who were merely "part of the community".

But earlier today, Islamic funded-mentalists moved to quash those rumours, and expressed outrage at the suggestions, claiming they were "outraged by normal people's perceptions".

Sadiq al-Extremist, 22, of Alum Rock, Birmingham, said "I'm outraged by normal people's perceptions. It's outrageous. I feel totally outraged. It's a wonder I don't carry out some extremist activities."

Mustafa Grenade, 18, originally from Afghanistan but now, dangerously for local normal people, also living in the Midlands, said "I'm outraged too. I'm more outraged than he is. I'm always outraged. It's outrageous."

Another man, who refused to be named for fear that he might become more outraged, told reporters that he had named his newborn son Islama Outrage, to commemorate just how outraged he was.

One man, however, stood alone in the midst of all this discontent.

Abu Hamster, a Muslim clerk from North London, spoke to gatherers outside the Burqas-R-Us mosque, and told them:

"We must contain our outrage. It's outrageous, but not as outrageous as it could be. I urge you to exercise caution and restraint. Only in cases of the most extreme intimidation and outrageousness should you consider planting a bomb."

Police moved in to arrest him, and threw him into the back of a Black Mariah in a most outrageous manner.

New Miss World Shilpa Shetty, herself a normal person, watching nearby, said "It's dis-gusting, but it's not racist. Or outrageous."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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