Written by Jalapenoman
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Friday, 9 February 2007

image for Inbred Tennessee Hillbilly Claims Royalty, Blackmails England's Royal Family
Joy Renee is not the most attractive of teenagers

A young girl from Flea Holler, Tennessee has claimed to be carrying the unborn child of Prince William of England. In the past few months, she has also said that she is married to a Prince from Monaco (Albert), engaged to Prince Harry, and from the French royal family.

The young woman in question, named Joy Renee, has never been outside of the state of Tennessee. Sources with a Nashville television station, KORN, learned that she has also never been to a city with an airport (crop duster landing strips not included). Additional investigative journalism also finds that, in junior high, she accused the high school football team captain of proposing and told all of her classmates she caused the "Bennifer" break-up.

As Princes Albert, Charles, William, and Harry have never been to the state of Tennessee, this would make any sexual relations with the girl impossible.

One man, who said that people have been telling him he may be her father, offered a possible explanation for her delusions. Billy Joe Jim Bob Travis Leroy Bumble, of Tick Holler (eight miles from Flea Holler) spoke with KORN at great length. "Well, I guess you can say I was a paying customer for this woman. I took her back to my single wide and had a good time. Afterwards, I told her she was f**KING fantastic, especially at Frenching, so ever since then she's referred to me as King Fantastic of France and said her daughter has royal blood."

"The girl has been hearing this ignorant stuff all her life, so I guess she believes it to be true. Since her mother tells her that all of her dreams can come true, I guess she really believes she's bedding all the European royals."

"Since she picked up my looks, she's probably going to end up being like me and having to pay for it anyway if she ever does really get knocked up."

"I know she needs some counseling, but I can't afford to help with the money for it with my job. I can just barely afford to keep the pickled pig's feet on my own table." Mr. BumbleI works on a state road crew and holds up the "slow" sign.

A Psychologist from the University of Tennessee in Knoxville said that the delusions were mostly harmless, as no one really believed them anyway. He did add that they should be treated as satire and a spoof on reality.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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