Accused astronaut Capt. Lisa M Nowak recently had a rash of irrational thoughts leading her into a string of out of character actions.
Nowak, mother of three and NASA robotics specialist, apparently jealous over another astronaut drove 900 miles, with alleged bad intentions to confront her rival in a love triangle.
When Nowak located the woman Colleen Shipman, at the airport, it is alleged she attempted to abduct her from her car. When Miss Shipman figured out what was going on she sped away from the scene after taking a mace shot in the face from Nowak.
A bizarre story to be sure. Usually icons like astronauts are solid citizens with their feet planted squarely on the terra firma Or at least when they're earth bound.
The one stand out fact of this case that has captured the public's imagination is the fact she drove the entire distance wearing a NASA diaper; she did not want to take any unnecessary rest stops along the way.
Depends adult diapers, a company looking for acceptance from the public has seen the silver lining in this gray cloud. They have put they're promotional department into high gear designing a line of colored fashion diapers for all occasions.
Sidney Bowman, VP in charge of Depends promo department stated, "this couldn't be a better fit for our product, we've offered Nowak our spokeswoman position, she's a soccer mom, a successful woman in a highly competitive job that's also been to outer space".
Depends has supplied everyone at NASA, "fashion pants", (FP's) as the trendy diapers have come to be known. The staff of NASA is wearing FP's in a show of unity standing behind their fallen comrade.
"It's done wonders for our water consumption here at mission control", said one NASA staffer, "Although the place does have a peculiar odor drifting through the halls "
Hollywood has taken up the cry, stars such as Paris Hilton and Jennifer Lopez have been seen wearing diapers as underware and Lindsay Lohan was spotted wearing a diaper outside of her pants at a posh Beverly Hills eatery.
Nowak was unavailable for comment.
This is a very strange fallout from an unexpected situation.
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
Feb 8 2007