The glorious and coveted golden figure was enshrined upon the mantle of a certain Iraqi tyrant (whom shall remain headless) for many years.
In the days of his reign of terror it was thought inconceivable that the trophy would ever be awarded to another. But this year, at the annual Butcher Awards, that other appeared and came forward glowing with pride, George W. Bush - fresh from his appearance on America's Funniest Statesman, Bush never looked prouder.
In his acceptance speech however he modeled the new-found humility of his state of the union speech:
"I don't deserve this...I could never have butchered this many people without first and foremost the people who do my thinking for me, Rove, Cheney, Rummy and the whole barnyard of neo-con chickenhawks.
"I must not forget my Dad who told me he would not buy the presidency for me if I didn't kill that SOB who tried to kill him (whom shall remain lifeless). The troops of course who we all have the sacred duty to support until every last one of the poor bastards are dead.
"I am grateful to my dear liberrian wife who has stood beside me in public and didn't begin calling me 'murderous bastard' and locking me out of the bedroom until the midterm elections, now that's loyalty.
"Finally how can I not thank my Christian conservative base. The guidance I received from that big Neo-Con in the sky and the little, tiny minds of his faithful followers helped me see that as long as you are not a fetus or a stem cell you can be annihilated viciously in the Lord's name."