Written by Phrank Phraser
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Topics: Christmas, Parents

Thursday, 18 December 2003

Eight-year-old Jennifer Diggles has vowed never to trust her parents again after discovering how they have repeatedly lied, tricked and deceived her throughout her short, innocent childhood.

"They've ruined my life," said a tearful Jennifer at her hideaway last night. "I really believed them at first, but then last year I found them out. I was gutted. It was Christmas Eve when it happened. Daddy's voice woke me up. He was with Mummy on the landing and they were both sneaking carrier-bags full of presents downstairs, right furtive, like."

Like many other impressionable children of her age, Jennifer had fallen for the age-old trick that so many calculating, mindless parents inflict upon their unsuspecting children: ‘The Santa Claus Practical Joke'.

"They definitely told me he existed, honest they did," sobbed a distressed Jennifer in between sips of comforting brandy. "They even tricked me into leaving a carrot for Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer."

Discovering too, that he was fictitious, turned out to be the final straw for Jennifer. She quickly got her passport and a few belongings together, and made her way to Toytown Airport where she boarded the first available flight to Fairyland.

She is now living happily ever after with The Three Bears and Goldilocks in a tumbledown cottage.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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