Vatican City - The bells of churches around the world are ringing this evening after a long hard investigation led by the Holy See and Cardinal Poirot has identified Beelzebub, the patron god of the Philistines and the evil Demon of all fallen angels, working as a revenue collection officer in the London Borough of Hackney.
The Pope addressed the crowds in St Peters Square this evening, 'Children of the Lord, for several thousand years we have been following the word of the lord and it seems that he was accurate in every way. The Book of Revelations identified that a taunter and teaser would come among the children of the lord to steer them off course - and he has now been identified in the London Borough of Hackney.'
Beelzebub has for the last two thousand years been using the name Damien Smith. Co-workers in Hackney say that Damien liked to be called 'the Beast' and when asked for his address, his eyes would turn red and he would say in a deep voice 'page 666 of the book of Revelations'.
Damien was unavailable for comment but he is in discussions to join London Mayor Ken Livingstone's inner circle.