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Thursday, 25 January 2007

image for Shilpa Currys No Favour In The Big Brother House
Vindaloo? More like in the loo! An incendiary chilli pepper pictured earlier

Big Brother contestant, Shilpa Shetty, is today admitting that perhaps Jade might have had some cause for the boorish behaviour and nasty attitude she displayed when she was in the house.

Shilpa, who does a lot of the cooking, was preparing a curry for the housemates this afternoon when suddenly one of the ingredients caught fire spontaneously.

H from steps commented:

"Cor no wonder my ringpiece was on fire the other day. Bloomin' Nora darling, what sort of chillies are those?"

Shilpa told him that where she came from they were called 'evil bastard's lava' and considered 'quite mild and tame really'.

Keen fans of the show may however remember that, big bully Jade, was complaining about an upset tummy one day and speculation is now mounting that her dish was in fact laced with several of these lethal peppers.

Dirk Bogarde, star of the A Team, said: "Don't look at me fellas. I never done nothing".

Jack Arse, Jade's boyfriend, said:

"Wot's a chimney piper? Was it in Mary Poppins?"

Channel 4 bosses have now decided that the only food allowed, until the show finishes on Sunday, is pineapples and vanilla ice cream.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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