Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 23 January 2007

image for Diana Interview Was "Doctored" - Claim

The interview Princess Diana gave to Martin Bashir in 1995, was "grossly edited", it has been claimed.

The original version, conducted after the journalist was lowered covertly into Buckingham Palace grounds by helicopter, contained information the Queen would have found so unpalatable, She would likely have "thrown a Royal fit". Certainly, She would have felt moved to utter those famous words first delivered deadpan by Princess Anne, "We are not amused".

The editing claim by Tupac Erbowles, the estranged husband of Prince Charles' new love Jamelia Bark Erpowles, was made during an after dinner speech at the Horse of the Year Show at Wembley Arena.

Whereas, during the televised interview, the Princess of Wails says, "There are three people in this marriage", Mr Erbowles says that, in the unedited version, the same Princess clearly says, "four people". This, he says, has given rise to speculation that one of her bits-on-the-side, of which there were many, was taking part in group sex sessions with the romping Royals.

Quite which of Diana's "friends" was the fourth member of the quirky quartet is not known. Amongst those suggested are now-dead Harrod's tycoon's son Alfie Dodd, jockey and rugby player Willie Carson, bald pianist Reg Dwight, and Bruce Jones, who plays Coronation Street's Les Battersby.

Martin Bashir, himself, was unable to shed any light on the matter, as he is currently recovering from Bird Flu, which he contracted whilst beiong held in Guano Bay Detention Centre on Bird Island, South Georgia (not the Seychelles one.)

The new claim, if proven, would have serious implications for the future of the Monarchy.
A Royal Charter of 1421, decrees that, "...nobodye that hath partaken in an Unholy Foursomme shall taketh his playce on the Throwne of Merrie Inglande", and, despite its appalling spelling, it remains in force.

Prince Charles looked unconcerned about the claim. When questioned yesterday, he merely smiled, raised his palm and said, "Talk to de hand".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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