Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 19 January 2007

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To DIY for?

Tel Aviv - (Ass Mess): Inconsolable at the death of her soldier son, Mrs Rachel Cohen went to the High Court to order an immediate extraction of his sperm 'in case some nice young fertile lady without the blessing of a partner' might need it to bear her a grandchild.

Pleading before Judge Levi, lawyers were adamant that there was nothing in son Keivin's last will and testicle stating it should not be done. Dying intestate was merely a detail.

Mrs Cohen's application was granted on compassionate grounds after the judge noted the lad had been a good boy and would surely not have minded his dear old mum tampering with his scrotum shortly after his sudden demise.

But the move has raised press fears of a national necrophiliacs' pandemic for bereaved relatives to stalk their loved ones' coffins armed with scalpel, suction pump and douche bag.

Some religious protestors have filed an appeal saying the use of a corpse as an insemination resource is inhuman and degrading. They have been joined by fringe feminist groups who think harvesting sperm from the dead is a sexist crime and contrary to the Inhuman Acts Right.

"Mrs Cohen is now going to be a granny and does not give a fig for these lesbians' opinions," said a neighbor.

"Whatever she decides to tell young Mordechai, Alra and Heini about how they came to be conceived is between her and her concience."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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