Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Thursday, 18 January 2007

image for French Government to stop obese Americans at French Airports
American tourist waiting for return flight to U.S.A in Paris.

The French government delivered what is widely regarded as a calculated snub to America today when Jaques Chiracs ruling party passed legislation through the senate enabling immigration officers to refuse entry to passengers disembarking from trans Atlantic flights on the grounds of "Grande Masse"

The minister for foreign affairs Phillipe Douste Blazy explained at a press conference that the move was not anti-American but a green issue.

"France is a country of exquisite taste, culture and tiny leetle restaurants, we felt it necessary to implement these drastic measures not only in order to save our teeny tiny leetle bistro chairs from huge wobbly American derrieres but as a way of combating global warming.

"By reducing the width of the passport control gates we will be able to limit the number of lardy arsed Yankeees travelling thousands of miles, burning twice the amount of fuel needed just to come ere and complain about our regular size seats, there is nothing wrong with French seats, just American asses, zay are too beeg!

"Long live the ozone layer! Vive La France!"

When questioned by a Washington Post reporter on how he thought the American government would respond to the new measures Monsieur Douste Blazy replied dismissively: "Do I look like I give a sheeet burger boy"

President Bush declared war on French Quebec two hours later with the reasoning "French is French is French!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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