Hand in hand, Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and Palestinian leader Yassar Arafat announced today that they were secretly wed this past weekend in a private ceremony in Las Vegas, Nevada.
"We are just so thrilled that we don't have to keep this a secret anymore," commented Sharon, "all of this political turmoil that we had to create so that no one would suspect that we were dating was really starting to get to us."
"We have been closely monitoring the way that the press has hounded Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. We just didn't want to be the next Bennifer and we knew that we had to keep it a secret in order to keep our private lives private," added Arafat.
When asked about the couples future plans Sharon stated "well, first things first, I want to redecorate Yassi's compound. There are way too many bullet holes and it SCREAMS bachelor pad. We have actually thought about inviting the cast of the popular Learning Channel show Trading Spaces to come to redecorate my ranch and Yassi's compound, but we haven't heard back yet."
"I plan on tearing down that tacky fence that Ari is building," Araft commented, "I would much prefer a nice white picket fence, possibly with some ceramic gnomes for added flavor. For now though, we are just concentrating on us, and possibly a little bundle of joy in the not so distant future."
When Sharon was asked about the future of Palestinian independence the couple grew noticeably pleased with themselves. "Well, last night Yassi and I had a few cosmos and talked about the whole thing. We decided that we would do away with this whole notion of two independent states and rename Israel "Palisrael." See everybody's happy now, just like us."
Arafat Closed the press confernce by informing everyone in attendance that the couple is registered at Tiffany and Bed Bath and Beyond.