A man from Hertfordshire in England was today thanking his lucky stars as he was narrowly missed by a thunderbolt hurled from heaven by God.
Jim Peeves tells us:
"I was playing golf with a few mates and one of them in particular, Phil, is a terrible swearer. He had a two foot putt to win the game and missed.
"The language was terrible I can tell you. Eff this, eff that! Shocking it was. We all asked him to tone it down a bit but he wasn't having it. He just kept on"
Jim went on to tell our reporter that amazingly eventually they all heard a sort of thunderous omni-powerful voice ringing out. He takes up the tale:
"We knew straight away that it was God and he wasn't too best pleased with old Phil, I can tell you. God asked him to tone it down too but Phil told the omnipotent one to do one son!
"That was it! Next thing the air sort of went still and then there was a flash of lightening and Phil was history. It just missed me by inches but I could feel the heat of it all right"
The Spoof understands that God was well brassed off with Phil but he didn't want to make a comment however his spokesman, The Pope, told us:
"Golf is a very dangerous game and people should think carefully if they are up to the challenge before going out there. We can't all be Tiger Woods you know"