WASHINGTON - President Bush made a strange confession to a pool of reporters in the Oval Office yesterday during a photo session with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki,.
"I have the heart of a tyrant," Bush declared, raising eyebrows all around.
"It's in a jar on my desk," the President continued, evoking general laughter.
The laughter gave way to gasps as the President rose from his chair, strode to his desk, and returned with a heavy glass jar containing what appeared to be a human heart floating in formaldehyde.
"My friend the Prime Minister came bearing execution souvenirs," Bush said. "I got Saddam Hussein's heart, Vice President Cheney got his brain, Karl Rove got his intestines, and my spokesman Tony Snow got his tongue."
Looking uneasy, Maliki chimed in: "Dispersal of the tyrant was done properly, according to law. Saddam signed an organ donor card, and a child who had been blinded by terrorists is today seeing with the help of a dictator's corneas. We provided organs that doctors deemed unsuitable for transplant to those who were likely to derive psychological benefit from them."
Saddam's kidneys, liver, pancreas, stomach, and testicles went to Shiite politicians and militia leaders, who cooked them up for a kebab feast, White House sources said.