Written by Katpil
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Topics: Somalia, Air strikes

Tuesday, 9 January 2007

image for U.S. Military Kills 27 Somali Sheep herders, and several dozen sheep linked to Al Queda
Won't someone consider the livestock?!

Washington - Pentagon sources revealed today that U.S. air strikes successfully killed at least 27 Al Qaeda operatives today and yesterday in its bid to help support the fledgling Somali government. Many of the terrorists were thought to be posing as ordinary Somali shepherds and trades people.

A U.S. Air force AC-130 gun ship obliterated a suspected terrorist stronghold on January 9. Military analysts were pleased with the strike, which was in retribution for the 1998 terrorist bombings of two U.S. embassies.

Intelligence operatives from the Somali government came in to the kill zone afterwards to inspect the damage. A Pentagon intelligence officer said. The officer refused to reveal his name publicly for fear of being identified as a dumbass.

"It was clear the strike has been effective in eliminating more terrorist evil-doers. There was blood and wool everywhere in the street," he said.

The officer went on to proudly exhibit photos provided by the intelligence branch of the Somali government taken in AfMadow, a city in southern Somalia, near the border with Ken

Shattered shepherd staffs were scattered about in the dozen grainy photos. Between the staffs and singed shepherd cloaks, were the remains of a relatively large flock of African sheep. Some appeared to be possibly yet alive.

"Don't be alarmed by their shepherd garb," the Pentagon officer emphasized "Al Qaeda is known to have taken up shepherding as a front business, much as the American mafia once took up garbage collection and restauranteering. And--as the American mafia prefers wearing tacky suits--Al Qaeda prefers the latest in sheep herding fashion. It is even thought that the terrorist group is selling black market wool to finance its activities against the United States."

The source went on to comment on the dead and dying sheep in the photo, saying the American military hadn't any love lost for the animals.

It is thought that a similar animals were used to destroy the two American embassies in 1998. Al Qaeda secretly used the animals to smuggle in bombs to the buildings. This occurred after American and African civil servants working there began a "Take Your Sheep to Work Day" program to help bridge cultural differences, the Pentagon source said.

An AP wire report seemed to confirm the devastation done to AfMadow by the U.S. gun ships.

"It was horrible!" Asesdfgdfh Malidfhdfh, a bystander to the attack, said in an AP story,"Blood, wool and mutton everywhere....I did manage to salvage a really nice staff for myself which I sold for fifty cents-Somali. Now I can buy my children a years supply of chalk for their school assignments."

An unexpected side effect of the U.S. strike has been the crash of the Somali wool market brought on by the destruction of the sheep. Surplus wool from the dead animals has lowered the market price for Somali wool. It is an event which those at the Pentagon believe will help put a damper on the Al Qaeda efforts to destroy America.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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