JUAN DE BUTTOFUOCCO, WA -- British Prime Minister Tony Blair arrived on the Makaw Indian reservation today and claimed five percent of the proceeds from the lucrative "Good Times Roll" casino.
A reporter asked Blair for the basis of the claim.
"I'm an American Indian, Jack," Blair replied.
He said his great, great grandfather, Makaw chief Ben Bold Eagle, had been kidnapped by the crew of a British ship and taken to London, where he escaped and became a chimney sweep.
Blair said that under tribal rules he was entitled to 5 percent of the casino take as the descendant of a chief.
A spokesman for the Makaw casino, Christopher Montesanti, rejected Blair's claim and urged that he and his bodyguards "leave or go to the mattresses."
Naked Paris Hilton had no comment.