Written by Michael Hunt

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Topics: Canada

Monday, 8 December 2003

image for President Bush Suprised to Learn that Canada is Not Part of The United States
'The fight begins here however, and we must stay the course in all of our 28 states, from Nebraska to New Brunswick.'

Montreal Quebec

While giving what he believed to be a reelection speech, President Bush was surprised to learn that Canada is in fact not part of the United States. "We must continue to take the fight against terrorism to the furthest reaches of the globe in order to protect this, our homeland. The fight begins here however, and we must stay the course in all of our 28 states, from Nebraska to New Brunswick" Mr. Bush proclaimed to a surprised and confused group of francophones. Moments later a Bush adviser informed the president that Canada was not part of The United States and that he was actually on a goodwill tour of North America in support of NAFTA, the meaning of which also needed to be explained to the President.

Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien released the following statement in response to the speech, "Fortunately the damage was minimized as the president was addressing a children's convention of French speaking Canadians who could not understand a word of what he said. But still, what a fucking idiot."

Bush later went on to comment that while his speech did contain some errors, it had been previously cleared through the CIA, The United States Navy, as well as through former Vice President Al Gore. When asked for comment, Mr. Gore simply responded by laughing and shooting milk from his nose.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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