The ghost of former Iraqi Dictator Saddam Hussein has been spotted in several California high school girls' locker rooms. The spirit reportedly floats through the room, approaches each girl individually, looks at them, then floats away.
While this is uncomfortable for some of the young women, most are not bothered that much by it. Said high school junior Candy Morris, "You know, it's just another perv who wants to check out your goodies. He's just a ghost, so it's not like he can grab you or anything. If he was trying to cop a feel, it would be, like, different or something. As long as he is keeping his hands to himself, it's kind of funny."
Miss Morris was asked how the ghost did act in the showers and locker room. "It's kind of funny. His eyes will bug out and I think he gives off this ghost drool; it's like that green jello stuff in Ghostbusters. I don't know if he's ever even seen a thong before and I doubt that the Iraqi women shave anything under their robes. In California, we shave it all!"
When asked if she felt like an exhibitionist with the ghost in the locker room, Candy replied "No, I'm a Methodist."
Abdullah Rahad Mohammed of the Los Angeles office of the Iraqi consolate offered the following: "We feel that Saddam is searching for his 72 virgins to serve him in the afterlife. We do not think that he will be successful in this search if he stays in California and does not at least go down to junior high school age."
"I believe that, if Saddam wishes to find American girls, he should go to Utah for multiple reasons. First, it is more likely that he will find virgins. Second, these girls are used to sharing men and would not mind being one of 72 wives."