Nouri Maliki today told journalists that he can't wait to leave his job as the political head of Iraq. "It's a rubbish job and nobody seems to like me" he protested.
It appears that Maliki had no idea what he was letting himself in for when he took the post. "I was quite happy just working as an occasional moustache stylist and talking shi'ite in the pub in the evening. Nowadays it just work, work, work and more work what with the civil war and stuff."
He explained that the job offer came "out of the blue" while supping in his local and moaning about the ex-leader Saddam. "Some Americans were drinking in the pub too and must have overheard me. One of them said I should think about becoming the next PM. Well a couple of double whiskeys later and it seemed a great idea."
The swearing in ceremony took place in the kebab shop on the way home, with 2 large doners (including salad) provided courtesy of the US Government official.
He went on to say that he regretted his decision immediately he sobered up the following morning. "To be honest I felt a right cunt. I tried everything to get out of it but apparently they said the ceremony was binding, unless I could find someone else who wanted the job - fat chance of that."
Meanwhile a US spokesman denied allegations that Maliki was just a puppet for American policy. "He has our full backing but we are happy for him to shoulder as much blame as possible."