George Bush held a press conference yesterday to not announce a new strategy and approach to achieving victory in the Iraq war.
"I can't divulge the direction we're planning to head in because of the obvious security breaches that would create, proclaimed the President. If I were to tell you it wouldn't be a secret, now would it?"
Bush administration insiders have intimated the new plan involves utilizing a little known faction the United States has been hiding for circumstances such as these.
It is rumored the 501st Stormtroopers Legion will be shipping out immediately after they thrill the crowd at the 118th Rose Parade in Pasadena California led by General George Lucas.
The 501st is an elite group of world wide freedom enforcers that have been training in complete secrecy. This will be their first action.
Democrat Ted Kennedy was overheard saying, "they may as well use the force, it seems nothing else is working, throw Darth Vader in there then we'll see some galaxy class ass
kicking. Hell while we're at it send in the starship Enterprise".
Star Wars has much in common with the Iraq war for example:
- A seemingly insurmountable power is successfully resisted by a small alliance of pesky rebels.
- The Goliath underestimates the resolve of the Davids.
- A grievous misunderstanding of the good vs. evil concept by both sides.
General George Lucas and Darth Vader were unavailable to confirm or deny the allegations. It seems they are in a strategy meeting at the Pentagon.
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
Dec 30 2006