Written by President Bush
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Topics: Saddam Hussein

Saturday, 30 December 2006

image for Witnesses: Saddam Hussein Was Hung Three Times
Bush: Seems like ONE hang'n would have sufficed

Most witnesses at Saddam Hussein's execution were ushered OUT of the gallows prior to his outraged Iraqi judge hauling Hussein's lifeless body back up to the scaffold, tightening a noose around his neck and RE-hanging the already belated dictator .. 2 more times then stomping on Hussein's remains before kicking the dismembered head into a makeshift trash can 'soccer goal' placed perhaps strategically on the gallows floor 14 feet below.

"The idiot ticked me off" Saddam's judge told reporters .. so ticked off according to witnesses that the judge would have hung Hussein a FORTH time if Hussein had a head left attached to a body to tighten a noose around.

The last person in recorded history to be executed more times than Saddam Hussein was Sir Thomas More when back in 1535 at the Tower of London he was first burned at the stake, his smoldering body hung from the gallows before his remains were drawn, quartered and mashed then dished out to the peasants in buckets to be used as pig slop.

"Now THAT wasn't necessary" President Bush concerned about Iraqi sectarian violence said going on to explain,

"Down here in Texas all we have to do is pull one switch and POOF, next."

Those witnesses who stayed for Hussein's third hanging describe it as a "grisly mess". One reporters said,

"Once Hussein's head popped off after the second hanging the judge himself duct taped it back on the body, stapled in a few heavy duty military grade staples and physically drug the remains up to the top of the gallows where, he hung him again!"

Reporters described the mood of the horrified witnesses at at the scene as somber if not grim.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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