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Friday, 29 December 2006

image for Saddam death by stoning: Pope pleads for mercy
Praying for inspiration on the $18 billion paper trail

Vatican City - (Ass Mess): Pope Joseph Ratinger has issued an official plea for Saddam's death sentence to be commuted to life imprisonment with hard labour in one of the Pontifical Office's maximum security latrines located under the city's Via Dolorosa which until recently had been reserved as a deluxe spa facility for Opus Dei grandees looking for that extra edge to their annual summer holiday pleasures.

A Vatican spokesman said the Holy Father would personally guarantee Saddam's security and was utterly confident that a miracle was possible with Saddam eventually making a full public confession regarding the whereabouts of the missing $18 billion of UN Oil-for-Fraud revenues.

The eleventh hour plea was received by Iraqi Government officials who are still fending off the massive queues outside Baghdad prison of wannabe executioners who have offered their personal services in the forthcoming stoning to death of the evil one.

A statement is expected shortly.

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