TEL AVIV -- Israeli panormalist Uri Geller revealed yesterday that, without his knowledge, his own penis had been promoting itself and disparaging its owner in satires posted on the Internet.
"I learned the hard way that my penis had a head of its own," Geller told reporters. "Writing under the name 'Breeze' on a cheezy web site called The Spoof!, it ridiculed my paranormal powers and expressed a desire to part ways with me and live an independent life."
Geller said he bent his penis to his will by taking anti-depressants.
"The pills produced erectile dysfunction. When Breeze is flaccid, he can't hit the laptop keys," Geller said. "Impotence is empowering. Now I can bend spoons with my mind without being self-conscious."
The Palestinian Authority had no comment.