In a move likely to signal the end of life as we know it President Bush without Congressional approval ordered a small band of 1,100 Marines to destroy a military outpost outside Beijing China.
Bush, now under House arrest, has reportedly received many calls from leaders around the world. Tony Blair called Bush a "Bloody expletive deleted", the president of Iraq told Bush he's a son of a Bavezid-Abdullah (translation best left untranslated).
China's president has yet to formulate a response to Bush's independent attack on the nation of China but analysts say that China's response will be swift and sure, probably in the shape of a mushroom cloud. Tony Snow told reporters,
"Vice President Cheney is now running the country while we attempt to diffuse yet another quagmire Mr Bush has gotten us into only this time, unlike with Iraq's Barbie and Ken Doll pretend army, this time confronting the nation of China we're going to get OUR rumps kicked."
No alcohol was found in the president's bloodstream (except for the usual 0.18 percent that constantly flows through his veins). Bush in fact, according to doctors is resting well and asking doctors for his big red button so he can push it and wipe out the 4th Axis of Evil nation, China.
President Cheney, chomping at the bits to go shoot somebody was told that his place is at the Oval Office, overseeing all military operations. Cheney, sources say, did speak with the president of China, offered a sincere apology but was unable to get a "feel" for the Chinese president's mood because Cheney's Sprint AnyTime minutes ran out before the conversation ended. Cheney in his first speech to the nation as acting interim president said,
"Don't worry America. George is in therapy now, he can't hurt you anymore. I instead will be running the country, dealing with the threat of nuclear war with China and of course popping off a few Quail every now, every then should a break in World War Three occur. Thank you all for your support and, God Bless America."