Written by Backandtotheleft
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Monday, 18 September 2017

The National group For the Classification of Endangered Species has decided that the Snow Leopard is no longer endangered! Go team! All those aphrodisiacs and Barry White CD's we left all over the Himalayans that year have paid off!

Back and to the Left news spoke to John Rubber a major snow leopard conservationist who seemed very happy about the whole thing:

Years of conservation efforts have finally paid off and the snow leopard is safe once again! Finally. Now I urge everyone in sight of a mountain to pick up your best clobbering tools and head out there to get you some leopard!

Wait what? Suddenly John was a blur of movement and in seconds three snow leopards lay dead at our feet.

Crazed by an animalistic blood lust he looked at us with death singing in his eyes as we tried to gather our thoughts at what we'd just witnessed:

Come brothers!

He yelled

We must advance on the kingdom of the snow leopard and take back the mountain tops that are ours by birthright!

Stripped to the waist he began to daub himself in fresh snow leopard blood from the carcasses that sprawled across the floor. We had to admit conservation had gotten fairly fucked up in the last few years.

John looked at us inquisitively like his humanity had drip drained from him and all that remained was the primal desire to kill, kill and kill again. He smiled. His teeth looked exactly the same as they had done last time we'd seen him , not everything can be dramatic guys.

Tonight the snow Queen dies!

He leapt through the window

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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