Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Wicca, Hex

Friday, 15 December 2006

image for Joy of Hex: Wiccans launch their own video game
The Joy of Hex

New York, NY - (Ass Mess): Fed up with the pandemic of patriarchal TheoCon claptrap that has infiltrated the video-game market, a group of Manhattan Wiccans has launched their very own game where players defeat the forces of Fundamentalism by hexing the hell out of religious warfare nutters bankrolling the US political wannabes cabal.

Joy of Hex begins by asking players to fight their way out of a Creationist Museum labyrinth where images of the Rev Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and UK fanatic David Icke attempt to vaccinate them against homosexuality.

Next they must defeat a dragon that hypnotises them into converting to Scientology by bombarding them with steroids while they sleep.

And finally they have to disrupt a Holocaust-deniers conference by exposing its financial links to loss-making Texan-based energy giant the Zion Oil Corporation and the gambling-mad Seminole tribe of native Americans.

The game features a number of banishing rituals aimed at the budding pagan entrepreneur who must defeat the materialist forces of the Illuminati while steadily making his/her own pile in ethical, Goddess-inspired ways.

The Rite of Osiris on the Feast of Beltane gives players all the wiccan tools they could ever want to help them on their quest including de-coding brainwashing subliminal pop-ups programmed into AOL kiddie chatrooms.

The video-game is available now with a pre-game detox package for abusers of Second Life-type sites.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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