Napoleon Bonaparte known by his street name "B" has once again scored big by invading his own country.
Clearly unable to resist the sight of a pile of shiney stuff, "B" went all out by planning a trip to Rome.
When it was pointed out that Rome is not in France, he explained that if you've seen one fountain you've seen them all.
"So I made a mistake, all I remember about the place was it had water and it was shiney, ok? Anyone could do that, seriously… except you because you don't have a dime, ok? I travel the WORLD. So get off your high horse and get back on your ass or what ever left that pile under you, ok?"
Complications arouse with the plan when he, "B" was unable to hire scrap metal workers that would work for free.
"These losers, and I mean that in the best way, trust me…just don't want to work. Simple, ok? Simple, what do YOU people want? Let me tell you…free stuff."
The press conference was then ended abruptly by a staff member stating that "B" had a tummy ache.
"You will have to excuse us, the King … I mean Emperor, is now leaving the building to lunch with Elvis."
It was later revealed that Elvis never showed up and the only "piles" were a few inflammed hemorrhoids. Hardly a reason to postpone an invasion one would think. Perhaps there was some confustion about the location again. Independent sources state a proctologist will be consulted.