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Monday, 24 April 2017

image for North Korea threatens to nuke Australia
Austria: land of flugelhorns and Hitler

Chubby despot Kim Jong Un has threatened to fire nuclear weapons at Australia, after the Aussie Prime Minister said he would "stand by the US like a mate at a barbie". The North Korean leader may not have missiles that can reach the US, but Australia is slightly nearer.

Aussies are said to be unconcerned about the threat. I spoke to a heavily tanned man eating shrimp on a beach in Sydney. He said that even if a North Korean missile was ever built that didn't explode on takeoff and if it miraculously made its way to the southern continent, "What's it gonna do? Turn the country into desert? It's already fahking mostly desert, mate."

A surfer carrying an inflatable crocodile concurred. "Oi bet he hasn't even seen Mad Max. Bring on the fahking apocalypse. Oi'm looking forward to converting my ute."

I then spoke to an older gentleman who resembled a fat balding soap actor. He said, "What those Korean Japs are forgetting is that we've already been nuked. Damn limeys used to detonate bombs in the outback. Why do you think all the spiders are so fahking big?"

Even the writers of Australian soap "Beachfront Angst" have made up their own response to the threat. In an episode to be broadcast next week, the cast continue at their jobs as normal while a nuclear bomb explodes overhead, killing two dingos and Noreen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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