Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Iceberg

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

image for Giant iceberg off Newfoundland purchased by Scottish whisky giant!
Nicknamed the Titanic, this giant iceberg is now worth millions!

A giant iceberg visiting the southern shore highway off the coast of Newfoundland has been causing great interest and tourists are flocking to the peninsula for a snapshot of the giant.

The iceberg, nicknamed, "Titanic" has also caused major interest from global drink producers hoping to purchase the thing before it melts.

Coca Cola put in an offer, but was beaten off by Red Bull who offered their star stunt, extreme sportsmen the opportunity to either skydive off the berg or mountain-bike across it whilst drones and choppers filmed the action! However Canada said no because if Red Bull were allowed to carry out their stunts, many indigenous people could copy their audacious antics and commit suicide in public! Something Red Bull are famed for, maniacs jumping off buildings whilst being filmed...

So Scottish whisky giant, Johnny W, have been given the rights to put their advertising boards on the Iceberg and can start chipping away at the colossus preaching there is only one Scottish whisky brand that can serve genuine "Whisky from the rocks".

US bourbon giants Jim Beam and Jack Daniels also attempted to purchase the iceberg, but were told to fuck off by the Canadian government; I wonder why?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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