Written by JinoLeFeeto
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Topics: Flying, Airlines

Sunday, 14 May 2017

image for Sadistic Bastards Airlines Takes to the Skies
New jets with one seat will allow for hundres to be overboojed and bumped!

Following a spate of in-cabin bust ups and air-rage fuelled punch-ups, one airline is standing up for what they truly believe in, in the world of customer-focused airline aggression.

"We can't change," said CEO Nonoze, "so we may as well embrace the facts. We are a bunch of sadistic and corrupt bastards. We will not rest until we have driven the saying, "Friendly Skies" into the ground!" he finished pounding his fist into the counter.

Towards that end the CEO and marketing division is working on new options for a marketing campaign and has narrowed the new motto down to 5.

1. Take a Flying Leap in OUR Skies
2. Die, We Don't Care
3. Fly in Cramped Pain With Your Knees In Your Chin
4. You Thought It Would Get Better? HA! Sucker!
5. You Want A Piece Of Us?

Decision on a final marketing scheme is due out in June.

In addition to these changes Sadistic Bastards Airlines are purchasing a fleet of over 1000 one seat jets from the 1970s from the U.S. Air force.

They have been moth balled, but they will be updated with two seats.

"This will allow us even more overbooking opportunities," said Nonoze

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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