Written by thomas o'hanlon
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Thursday, 23 March 2017

image for Stop answering my butt-dials, idiots!
Ruben DeMarco, no fool he

In a text message to everyone on his contact list, Ruben DeMarco of New Milford New Jersey has a strong message that captures and explains his frustration.

"So, I'm at the movies with Kate and my cell phone buzzes" Ruben explained "who the hell is calling me at the movie theater I think, how rude. So hello I says, and its Teddy Coleman from work, 'hey Ruben you just called me, he says, maybe you butt-dialed me.?' And I'm thinking well who's the idiot that answered my butt-dial?"

Apparently this has happened several times to the dismay of Mr. DeMarco.

"Then, I'm at church for my nieces christening and again my phone buzzes in the middle of a very sanctimonious moment and I says hello, why are you calling me in the middle of a baptism" it's my neighbor Shultzey, 'Hey Rubes I think you butt-dialed me again' and I'm thinking "again" this moron calls me at church to say I butt-dialed him 'again'. Why do these people not get it?"

Mr. DeMarco gave several more examples "when I'm bowling, playin' poker, takin' a dump. It don't matter to these nitwits."

So that's when Mr. DeMarco sent a blast text message in upper case to all the contacts on his phone: STOP ANSWERING MY BUTT-DIALS, IDIOTS"

"and guess what" he said with a nod of the head "ain't nobody callin' me no more!" he smiled and then added this" What did Shakespeare say about idiots? You know, in that play he wrote about Abraham Lincoln...oh yeah 'Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing', ya know what I mean?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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