Written by StubbornGorilla
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Topics: Food, Oranges

Friday, 17 March 2017

image for Oranges call out tangerines for just being small oranges
"Nobody starts their morning with a refreshing glass of tangerine juice you little bitches!"

An agitated orange lashed out at his citric brethren for attempting to distinguish themselves from oranges. Cracky McOrange has stated that he does not see any real difference between tangerines and oranges, and thinks that the separate designation is unnecessary. The fruit accused tangerines of "putting on airs" and acting like "they are better than us somehow."

"I've heard people say that they taste sweeter than us, but that is such baloney!" McOrange remarked. "If an orange is picked at the right time it is just as sweet, and a tangerine picked at the wrong time could be just as sour. That's probably because we are the exact same thing!"

The disgruntled fruit pointed out to some other members of the citrus family to support his claim. "Did pink grapefruit go out and get itself a froofy name? No! And they're pink. Tangerines aren't even a different color!"

McOrange showed even greater animosity toward other dillineations, "Clementines are even worse. Talk about a bunch of sell out marketing whores. Don't they call themselves cuties and halos too? Sheesh! And don't get me started on tangelos. What a bunch of Mendel loving wannabe muther$#@%^&**@s! Tangelos can kiss my ass!"

There has been no response yet from the Anti-Defruitmation League yet, but they are expected to issue a harsh rebuke to McOrange's incendiary comments.

McOrange continued on with his inflammatory remarks, "They should all take a lesson from blood oranges. They kept orange in their name, and even found a way to make themselves sound badass."

He leveled one final criticism at his estranged citric brothers, "It's probably because they are small, and have some sort of Napoleon Complex or something. I might feel for them a little if they didn't have to get all uppity, and give themselves these fancy names. If it was up to me they would be called "little bitch oranges" because that's what they are."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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