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Thursday, 9 March 2017

image for Aunt Beru found in Peru
Aunt Beru claims to work in a Tattooine Parlour

A woman in Peru has announced that she is actually Aunt Beru from the first Star Wars film. The news has come as a surprise to nerds and film buffs everywhere, as not only was Beru killed by Stormtroopers on the orders of Darth Vader, but she is a fictional character who should not exist in the real world.

Aunt Beru has given a few short interviews to Peruvian television, where she reveals little. When asked how she got to Peru, she simply said, "I took the daily llama to Lima."

Film scientist Geoff Foureyes had an opinion. He salivated excitedly, "Maybe Star Wars was a documentary from the future, and Aunt Beru was sent back in time just before her home was destroyed as a warning about what can happen when you let a cyborg in a black cape rule the galaxy."

However, Peruvian police chief Colombo Santiago had other ideas. He explained, "Every few years someone thinks it's hilarious to say that they're Aunt Beru, just because Beru sounds like Peru. Usually they're drunk American tourists, but in this case she might have a real loco motive."

He continued. "There's been a lot of talk about fake news recently. The stupid US president says that some stories are fake news because he doesn't like them. Well this story about Aunt Beru is genuinely fake news. I know things are a bit crazy right now but surely you can tell the difference between fake fake news and the real thing. Can't you?"

Make Sir Geoffroy Cockface's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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