Written by Breeze
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Tuesday, 12 December 2006

image for Fury at Norwegian Special Olympic seal clubbing proposal
The Norwegians have the special olympics looking like 'It's a Knockout'

Animal rights activists reacted angrily yesterday as Norway revealed that seal clubbing will be one of the events at the upcoming Special Olympics.

The Games, to be held for the first time in Oslo, have been criticised for their one-sided Scandinavian themes. Gone are the traditional events such as the long jump and the 100m dash and in their place Herring Pickling and Whale Bothering.

However it is the introduction of the Seal Clubbing event which has provoked the most fury. Deranged oddities are furnished with a 3 foot club and try to beat as many baby seals to death as possible in a 3 minute period.

Special Olympics co-ordinator, Mr Lars Keynhutch told us, "Vey hav been trying to inject some humoor into ze games, yes? And ze guys wiv ze clubs is funny, yes?"

Although the event is undeniably hysterical to watch, with many contestants beating themselves and their opponents over the head instead of their intended quarry, many believe that Norway is in danger of making the Special Olympics into a laughing stock.

Kofi Annan, the new president of the Special Olympics International Board told us yesterday, "OK, so it's not the real Olympics but we don't want to let the cat out of the bag and have people realise that this is just a pat on the head for disadvantaged people. The Norwegians have this looking like 'It's a Knockout'!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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