Written by thomas o'hanlon
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Topics: Language

Sunday, 22 January 2017

image for Supreme court to hear "Move the N in Wednesday to before the D" argument
British to fight back

The seemingly interminable battle to have the letter N in Wednesday move to its more appropriate position before the D will now go to the Supreme Court. this has angered many in Britain's Parliament who have suggested sanctions against the United States if "they start boogering our words".

England has asked the U.N. to intercede on their behalf and the U.N. has sent 2 buss loads of men with sky blue helmets to Washington to set up a nice tent. England also threatens to withhold any future Andrew Lloyd Weber musicals from being produced on Broadway.

The argument, first heard in Bucks County Pa. was brought to trial by the complainant, B. Clarke Howser who argued that the incongruity of the word and its pronunciation is a loose end that the English left undone when transforming from the old English 'Odin' to the now accepted 'Wednesday'. Mr. Howser, a banker and father of two wanted to make the world a safer place for his children when he brought the case to court. At the time the honorable judge Horton Dalila decided in favor of Mr. Howser. "oh what the fuck, sounds fine with me, move the goddam N to in front of the D. case closed, gotta pee!"

That decision was eventually thrown out by state supreme court judge Arlene Berg citing "we cannot and will not entertain the frivolity of incongruous letter placement while the words Library and February still contain that useless, wasteful, and confusing r after the final consonant in the first syllable of each word".

Rumor has it that the Supreme Court will probably move the N and fix library and February to appease all sides except for the British who should have learned to speak the Navajo language on their arrival which would have avoided all this bickering.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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