Written by W.P. Wonder
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Topics: Donald Trump

Monday, 9 January 2017

image for New Trump Hire to Inspire Goverment Bureaucracy.
New White House Official "Motto-Man."

Washington, DC -- Barney Bard, who once held a position of Professor Emeritus at the now defunct Trump University, is following Mr. Trump to the White House.

"Mr. Bard," said Kellyanne Conway, counselor to Mr. Trump, "will be this Administration's aphorist. A kind of motto-maker that will give our different areas of Governance sort of unofficial starting points."

Some of the Mr. Bard's sayings, (or adjustments and unattributed borrowings of sayings, some would say) were published by the President-Elect's communications office:

Most people aren't naturally lazy, when faced with starvation.
-- meant for the Department of Labor.

A little learning is a dangerous thing.
-- the opening salvo in the effort to reduce or downright eliminate the Department of Education.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
-- which is actually meant for two Departments: Health and Human Services, which will oversee the demise of "ObamaCare", and the Department of Agriculture, which will have to grow a lot of new apple trees.

Good fences make good neighbors.
-- Homeland Security's number one message . . . to Mexico.

The meek shall inherit the Earth, after the rich are done with it.
-- which will be emblazoned on the Commerce Department's H.Q.'s exterior, the Herbert C. Hoover Building. (Mister, we could use a man like him again.)

And lastly, Mr. Bard's final quote isn't really meant for a particular department, but more in align with Mr. Trump's quixotic quest of bridging the gender gap:
Never judge a book by its cover . . . unless it's a woman.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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