Written by Johnny Moodis
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Topics: Budget, Skeletor

Saturday, 13 March 2004

image for Skeletor Lays Off Four Minions
Skeletor does his Prince Adam impression.

Skeletor announced today that due to budget constraints four minions have been cut from his roster of evil.

"The end of the winter is somehow always a tough time for us here at Snake Mountain," said Skeletor, "The overhead is ridiculous this year. We really had no choice but to let some people go."

Those minions cut include Stinkor, Mer-Man, Tri-Klops and that one that looks like a lobster, whatever the hell his name is.

"I hate laying off good minions, I really do," Skeletor lamented. "But these cuts will help us stay afloat for a couple of months, with at least three plans to overtake Castle Greyskull in the works. Surely one of them has to succeed."

Prince Adam, closet homosexual heir to the throne of Eternia, said that Skeletor should not be pitied through these tough times.

"This guy, he tries so hard to fail so spectacularly," Prince Adam said. "I mean I always ... I mean He-Man always kicks his ass back to Snake Mountain every single time. It's like not even close. He-Man, with his supple buttocks, barely even has to try anymore."

Skeletor, hearing of Prince Adam's claims, believed that there is still hope for an eventual overthrow.

"We're working around the clock to come up with some really great schemes," Skeletor said. "We've got this new kid, Porcupine Man, who really thinks outside the box. I think we'll have Greyskull under our control by the fourth quarter."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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