Santiago, Chile - (Ass Mess): Leading Global Piss Process luminaries, Bush Administration client-dictators and top-notch account holders of the Riggs Bank are preparing to fly to Santiago for the funeral of General Augusto Pinochet whose death yesterday is being treated as 'suspicious' by Chilean police investigating links to Plutonium 210 contamination.
While acknowledging that at 91 the old renegade was in poor health, Santiago police are taking no chances following reports that radioactive traces may have been found in the General's suite next door to the X-ray department of the Joseph Mengele Memorial Hospital for depleted old fascists where he was being interrogated.
The police investigation is being carried out following requests from aides of Margaret Thatcher who queried the timing and circumstances of her old pal's demise after running out of alternative conspiracy theories elsewhere in the world to moan about.
Pinochet's funeral is to take place at the Santo Roberto Calvi Basilica and will be followed by an internment at the Santiago Military Cemetary where a P2 Lodge plot has been specially reserved for him.
A few tickets are still available for the solemn occasion through the customary internet sources.